Saturday, August 27, 2011

Summer Wars

I'll give you some time to catch your breath. You must have fallen off your chair when you saw that I uploaded yet another blog post. We're nearing the end of August and all I have to show for it is seven measly blog entries. I know when I first started this blog I had promised three posts a week... and we can all see how well that turned out. Role playing 101. I'll be the workaholic and neglectful parent, and you can play the role of the attention craving child. My job will require me to go on long and frequent business trips. I'll leave you for weeks on end. It'll leave you wondering if I even care about you at all. When I finally return I'll be sincere and apologetic. I'll shower you with lavish gifts and presents. We'll reminisce and catch up. I'll marvel at how much taller you've grown and remark that you're growing into a fine and mature individual. We'll become inseparable, but one day you'll wake up and I'll be gone. You'll feel disappointed and let down, but in the end you'll know I'll always be back. And that was my childhood summed up in a paragraph. Just kidding. My mother's too overbearing for something like that to ever occur. I'll be the first to admit that I'm just really lazy and unmotivated. I'm running out of topics here! Soon all this blog's going to be is me talking about my life "IN DEPTH" and all my problems.
Day 236; I got a splinter in wood shop and had a lettuce and turkey sandwich.
OH GOD. We really can't have that.
The weekend before school starts the entire east coast goes on "red alert" on hurricane watch. Fantastic. As of late I feel like my home has transformed into a super market. My mother, paranoid as she is had our family run out and purchase enough food and water supply to last us at least a year. To show my appreciation for anyone that reads this blog I can have a trail mix / dried berry giveaway. I'll even throw in a bonus 12 oz water bottle. There are no limits to my generosity. If I cross my fingers perhaps they'll postpone school til Tuesday. Even if that would mean me losing my power... and more importantly my internet connection. Perish the thought. Hopefully my house survives. I don't want a Wizard of Oz reenactment.
Things I will be doing when my power goes out
1. Playing Sims3
2. Finish reading "When You Are Engulfed in Flames"
3. Practicing guitar
4. Finishing Daria (all seasons)
5. Clean my room
6. Watch Requiem for a Dream

Previous questions
1. Where is your swan shirt from? ; H&M
2. What kind of Doc Martens do you have? ; Nappa Black size 4 UK/6 US
3. Do you have hair extensions? ; Yes. Clip in shit ones. Buy them at Sally's beauty for 10 dollars.

ps. my dad finds this skirt highly offensive and inappropriate.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Panda Coffee

This time I come bearing music. Last night I went on one hefty downloading spree thus increasing my iTunes library by at least thirty percent. I just recently discovered the beauty and sheer genius that is utorrent. This experience for me is almost equivalent to a blind man being able to see again (perhaps not as dramatic, but you get the point). It's opened so many doors. The only thing that could possibly hinder my "new found hobby" would be my moral compass which fortunately for me isn't properly aligned. Hell's going to be awesome. You can download the playlist; here.
The past couple days have been pretty uneventful (consistent with how my entire summer's been going). I'm trying to cram in the final chapters of my summer reading. School starts in four days and I have twelve chapters to go. It's a good thing I didn't put this off or anything... I'm listening to the book on audio which helps a little even though the book itself is drier than the Sahara Desert. I may or may not have fallen asleep during a few chapters. I fell asleep in the early 1800's and when I woke they were talking about Lincoln's assassination. Big deal if I missed a couple decades. Time's all relative anyway!

the mall pretzels from rachelchew on Vimeo.

This post lacked some serious substance. Sorry. I just wanted an excuse to show you guys my panda purse and give you yet another example of why you find me narcissistic and self absorbed. I have low self esteem I swear. This Sunday I'm going to bake soft pretzels, gain fifty pounds and go through a mini mid life crisis. I encourage that you do the same.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Reverse Robinhood - Thrifting 101

This post is a clear indicative that I have become a sell out. I've tried my best to fight off this serious disease but I have finally fallen ill to the hipster pandemic. After coming across this video made by StrummingSally, Pennsylvania's very own "thrifting connoisseur" I was inspired to do a little of my own secondhand shopping. My parents seemed fairly put off at my my request to drive me to Goodwill. They were all like "oh yeah Leah remind me while you're there that I need to go pickup this weeks food stamps" Ha. Good one. After much convincing my father drove me over to our local Goodwill. Apart from dropping things off, I have never actually been inside a charity shop. I'm pretty sure that a couple years ago I would have found the idea of wearing somebody else's used clothing revolting. Let's just say that between now and then I've become more open minded and that upon entering high school my hygienic standards have decreased significantly.

I came in with reasonably low standards. I'm not sure as to what I had envisioned but I was pleasantly surprised with the outcome. The store was moderately large in size and was evenly stocked. There was a home good section, children's department, and of course a men and women's. I was hoping that I'd find an old camera, but no such luck. They did however have a pretty impressive record collection. I figured that I'd save that for another trip and started looking for clothing. After scouring the racks I found a t-shirt, sweater, leather purse, and a velvet skirt. The velvet skirt's a work in progress by the way. I'm taking it to get hemmed this Wednesday. I'm not planning to move out to Lancaster with the Amish just yet... I was feeling most proud of myself when the sales lady told me that all my items came to a total of $13.49. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? I want to find ways in which I can work my thriftiness into a casual conversation: "Guess just guess how much my sweater cost. I bet you can't. Okay I'll tell you... $3.50 ARE YOU IMPRESSED YET?" Knowing how cheap I am I'm surprised I didn't discover this gold mine sooner. If this post inspired anyone to channel their inner penny pitcher you can find your local goodwill here.

- Happy thrifting

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Black Swan

And so the countdown begins. Exactly seven days from Monday I will be in school. Exactly seven days from tonight I will be contemplating creative ways I can contract a severe imaginary disease prohibiting me from ever leaving my bedroom. I received my schedule Wednesday. You know what I love? Being the first to show up to a class and then having the pleasure of praying someone you know walks through the door. Wait... I stand corrected *praying someone you "LIKE, and can TOLERATE" walks through the door because there's honestly nothing worse than being stuck in a room full of people you despise (the story of my life).
I'm going to sound like a major asshole, but I've broken it down into the types of people I cannot stand to be in a class with
  • That kid who asks numerous times to have the instructions repeated
  • That kid who needs an additional five minutes to copy down what's on the board
  • That "know-it-all" kid who smugly raises their hand for every question and then does a silent cheer when they get the answer right
  • That kid who asks "aren't you going to check our homework" because they're the only kid that completed the assignment
  • That kid who doesn't do any work during group projects
Just thinking about this raises my blood pressure. The idea of having to see all the people I so successfully avoided all summer five days a week, makes me reconsider taking an anger management class. Why can't you rage quit life...
On the flip side, I went shopping with my friends yesterday and I now know what I'm wearing on the first day of school. I find that the mornings are a lot less stressful when you plan ahead because the days I blindly choose my outfits also tend to be the most humiliating. Coincidence? I think not. I woke up one morning five minutes prior to the time I was supposed to be leaving the house. In a quick haste I threw on a pair of shorts and an old t-shirt. Which in retrospect doesn't sound too bad. It's no fashion statement, but hardly an outfit I would be embarrassed of. I failed to notice that the shorts had a gaping hole in the crotch area. I looked like a homeless prostitute. So the moral of that story kids is if you end up procrastinating your wardrobe choices you'll find yourself questioning why people are offering to buy you lunch or asking you if you're experiencing "any problems at home".

A Love Story… In Milk from Catsnake on Vimeo.

After all that angst I feel like I should make it up to you with this overly cheery and cute video. Kind of...

Monday, August 15, 2011


This year's going to be different. This year I strive for straight A's. This year I will stop all procrastination nonsense. This year I will be friendly and approachable. This year I will say hi when I see people in the hallways. This year I will be organized and put together. Freshmen will pass me in the halls and look at me with gobsmacked awe "just who is that extremely poised and sophisticated young woman" they'll wonder, and people will reply "Oh that's Leah she's really going places. I mean have you seen her color coordinated subject binder?" I'm going to be "that kid". The kid you all envy because you can't possibly compete with their perfect academic performance. "I've graded your physics tests and I must say I'm quite disappointed. While the majority of you failed this exam, one student managed to score a 100%". The teacher will then proceed to shoot me a knowing look that acknowledges my scholarly excellence. My peers however will shoot me icy death glares, hoping that that will wipe the smug smile off my face. Hey nobody ever said that being a proclaimed genius was easy.

This is as personal as it gets. I just let you in on my most secret hopes and dreams. The image I painted for you is quite different from the disturbing and unglamorous reality that is my life. Everyday I trudge into school half awake and dressed most inappropriately. Sometime after first period my eyesight fully adjusts so that when I look into the mirror I'm hit by my glaring wardrobe choices. I.E; Inside out clothing, mixed matched socks, uneven shirt buttoning... you catch my drift. I show up to every class red faced, extremely out of breath and every so often I'll start wheezing and clutching my throat. From an outsiders perspective one may think that I was experiencing an asthma attack, but no these are just the inconvenient effects of A. Being extremely out of shape, and B. Having no concept of time management. My sunny disposition is close to nonexistent. I have never in my life been described as having a warm personality. In fact most people often compare me to the arctic circle, as we're both frigid and most unfriendly to anything living. On the rare occasion I'll go out of my way to make friends and be sociable, but it just feels so... wrong. As far as my academics and studying habits go just travel through my previous blog entries.
I really could try revamping my entire personality and transforming my slacker ways but I'm already in too deep. I have college for that, but I'll cross that bridge when I get there.

On the topic of school... I'm in the need of a new backpack. For the past years all I've been using is a shoulder tote and quite frankly this year that's not going to cut it. If someone could lend me six hundred dollars I'd be more than happy to sign a contract promising you seven years of indentured servitude.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011


I present my one part series entitled "Fun times in Miami", in replace of some cheesy tropical postcard decked with Hibiscus flowers, and palm trees. Now I enjoy the beach just as much as the next person, but I prefer admiring it from a far. (Note that this philosophy also pertains to people) There's too much sand. Every time I take a shower I look down at the drain, and it's as if I brought the entire beach with me. I could start charging people to visit my personal island. Location; my bathroom. While I'm in Miami my inner materialistic gremlin makes its seasonal debut. I somehow forget that the beautiful lace blouse with its peter pan collar will end up costing me seven hours of work. I somehow forget that even thought I have already purchased three dresses this summer, I buy another one anyway (despite the fact that it looks strikingly similar to the one collecting dust in my closet). Miami's home to the rich, and the richer. You're competing with the Joneses, and everybody else. My family and I walked up to the infamous "Bal Harbour". With stores like Louis Vuitton, Miu Miu, Dolce Gabbana, Prada I try my best to look unfazed when I see price tags in the quadruple digits. Despite all my moaning, groaning, and "white people problems" I really am dreading our departure. A week free of work, and real life social encounters it's basically my dream come to life.

I watched Submarine a couple weeks ago, and it really re-enforced my interest in British culture. There's just something about British humor that's so very different from what I'm accustomed to. The movie itself was very strange, but captivating at the same time. The story line, like many other "teenage romance" films focuses around a socially awkward boy who falls in love with a quirky (also interchangeable with bitchy) girl. You can download the movie here. I want to know what you thought about it because I for one am still very confused.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

"Super Kawaii"

If we were to compare the level of excitement I felt upon receiving this package to an earthquake, I would have scored a perfect ten on the Richter scale. Call me easily excited, but my heart starts preforming all these strange acrobatics at the sound of the mail delivery truck. Often though I'm disappointed to find that the parcel turns out to be for another member of my family. I know who knew? Sometimes I actually forget that I live with other people... For instance last week after tearing through several boxes I was pretty disgruntled to find a "replacement blender blade", "three packs of shoelaces", and a set of "eco-friendly bamboo napkin holders". Clearly my mother had just discovered the beauty that is because realistically speaking where else could you have purchased all of those items IN THE SAME ORDER?

However the contents of this particular package made me feel as if I had just taken a vacation in Tokyo but without all the jet lag. Thirty layers of wrapping paper later... I opened the box and it was like one big Asian explosion (please ignore the fact that that sounds like a porn title). THIS IS NOT THAT KIND OF BLOG. Anyways aside from the delicious assortment of candy I particularly enjoyed the Daria DVD set, and the Spirited Away film strips. If I were to embody my personality into a two dimensional figure I would undoubtedly pick Daria Morgendorffer. Her warm, and friendly personality just reminds me so much of myself. Here are some of my favorite quotes, but you can catch the rest of the highlights here.
Haven't you ever heard the expression get the hell away from me?
I don't have low self esteem. I have low esteem for everyone else.
I owe all my thanks and gratitude to Miwa (as if you already didn't know). There's only one thing or food entrée that can really express my love for her or you, and that something is blue cheese pasta.