Monday, September 5, 2011

Raconte-moi une Histoire

As a reward for completing the first week of school unscathed, my friend and I decided to go to Philadelphia. Now outside of exploring the city from a "touristy" perspective, I've never really given it much of a chance. The Constitution Center, The Liberty Bell and Independence Hall are in retrospect all very enjoyable places... if you're a history buff or my parents. I personally am not interested. Maybe this is one of those "coming of age" things and I'll suddenly find myself at age thirty, on a Saturday night sipping wine while watching documentaries on the history channel. My friend Judy and I walked around the quieter more suburban areas of Philadelphia. We went to two thrift stores. One was an AIDS profited charity store, while the other catered to a more pricey and selective clientele. Upon entering the first shop we were offered a free variety pack of condoms. My curiosity almost got the better of me, but I politely declined. I mean I heard condoms only have a shelf life of a couple years and at my impressive total of zero sexual partners I didn't think I'd be needing them anytime soon. I bought the two sweaters pictured below along with two blouses, a cardigan, and a purse. All under fifty dollars. I'm rubbing my frugality in your face and I apologize.

I didn't buy this shirt, but I was tempted. I wanted to attach pom poms at each point, and debut as an elf for Halloween.
In other news I got a job as a hostess at a Chinese restaurant. I have to work with what I have, and in that case it's being Asian. That and having personal relations with the family that owns the restaurant. Also this weekend I had my first personal experience with a stalker. It was flattering, but I'm still slightly creeped out.

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Wet Cement

Dear Summer,
I hope you know that you're an asshole for leaving me. Or maybe I'm just an idiot for taking you back (not that it's much of a choice anyway). This happens EVERY SINGLE YEAR. You show up uninvited in June, and then leave just like that come September. You're a selfish individual, but you don't need to do this. Just think of all the good times we've shared the past three months. The late nights followed by waking up at noon, the countless beach trips, and the infinite amount of hours we spent just lazing around. Did that mean anything to you? I wasn't even planning on returning to school this year. You promised permanent residency in a seaside cottage. Just you and me. No work, no school, no responsibility. I was perfectly happy knowing that I was going to frolic in fields and bob in oceans for the rest of my blissful existence, but I can feel things changing. The days are getting shorter, and the air's grows chillier each day. You lied. You're a pathetic excuse for a season. I can't believe I fooled myself into thinking that I could formulate a civil relationship with you. You're lazy and unreliable. It would have never worked out. Now as I patiently await your return I'll be hanging around Fall, Winter, and Spring. You won't be missed. I hope you're miserable.
Most unwarmly,

Now there's an angsty breakup letter I never had the pleasure of writing. I've personally never been screwed over THAT bad, but this isn't about me. It's about you. More importantly it's about ME helping YOU combat your post-summer depression.

Things I hope will raise your happiness meter (even if it's only a fraction):

Youtube - maps, How To: Wake Children Up Pleasantly, Duet With Myself, OMG you look SO hot, 100 YEARS / STYLE / EAST LONDON, Puppy wants Pizza!, LOLcats, the travelers., The TV Theme Medley, AUDREY TAUTOU SCREEN TEST AMELIE SUBTITLES

Vimeo - I'm Comic Sans, Asshole, Too much candy, Foolishly Seeking True Love, MARCEL THE SHELL WITH SHOES ON, GOOGLE STREET VIEW

8tracks - broken drums and tambourines , Songs That Make You Turn The Volume Knob Clockwise , Secrets from the wind

If it's any consolation, seeing what everyone's going to wear on the first day of school's always fun. Coming into my 11th year of schooling, I've seen my fair share of first day outfits; some more memorable than others... Everybody's so eager to make a good first impression. They all want to show off their new clothing and haircuts. I think everyone secretly hopes that over the summer they've undergone a miraculous transformation so that once they return to school people will start treating them with respect and new found appreciation. At least that's what I delude myself into thinking, but I could be just over-analyzing things...
I've already had the pleasure of starting school so this Tuesday won't nearly be as awkward and uncomfortable. Okay yes it will be, BUT I'll be fully prepared. For everyone else starting this week, I wish you godspeed.