Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Dead Hearts

I keep forgetting that I don't live on a sprawling estate of 100+ acres and that I'm not entitled to have the woods as my private photo studio. Today, a group of elderly women stopped and asked my mother (who was sitting in her car on the outskirts of the forest) what I was doing. Their conversation went down like this:

"Oh my, isn't that young girl freezing? Do you know what's going on? Is this going to be in a movie?"
Not exactly. She's just taking pictures.
"Really? Of what?"
"Oh... I see. Is it for a class?"
No. Just for her.
"That's very interesting. I think you should tell her to put on a sweater."
I'll be sure to do that.

End scene.

And now you know where I get my enviable social skills. While I'm flattered that the women thought that I was some kind of local movie star... I have to bare in mind that they were at least seventy years old and with my luck they probably thought that I was shooting a scene from "The Blair Witch Project." There were presumably a lot of awkward pauses and uncomfortable glances shared between both parties so it was probably fortunate that I wasn't there. Oh the life of an artist. So tortured. So misunderstood.

Over the course of the year, I've accumulated a lot of runs in my tights. Virtually ever single pair of stockings I own contain at least one hole. I've been dubbed the Asian Taylor Momsen of Pennsylvania and we're not talking Cindy Lou Who.

The past two days I've been lying in my bed doing absolutely nothing. I try to get up and leave, but my bed's all like ""No one's ever gonna love you more than I do. STAY WITH ME, I'LL PROVIDE YOU WITH WARMTH AND COMFORT" and so I'm compelled to climb back in. It's a vicious cycle. Though this time I had an excuse. After school on Monday the doctor diagnosed me with having a kidney stone. Instead of doing anything productive, i.e start my English essay... I made my Christmas list.

1. Starry Night Knee-Socks
2. Heavy Rain
3. Instax-Mini
4. Dreamy Focus Lens
5. Peter Pan Collar Necklace
6. Bambi Sweater
7. Studded Heart Bag
8. Bunny Ring
9. Double Bird Ring
10. PS3
11. Missed Connections

Thought of You from Ryan J Woodward on Vimeo.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Golden Baby

I'm going to save you all the arbitrary details and cut right to the chase. In short, my life has been taken over by the monstrosity known as every high schooler's worst nightmare, the SAT. Normally I'm not one to stress over tests because school has shown me that "winging it" is not only an art form, but a way of life. Unfortunately though, as I need a 2100 to get accepted into essentially any college I'd want to apply to... I'm going to have to reacquaint myself with the two subjects that I've grown to hate. Meet Algebra and Grammar. So for the next month I'll be taking up permanent residency at my local library and eating nothing but nutrigrain bars and green tea. The only good that's come out of this pre-college anxiety is that I think I finally know what I want to do with my life. I'm planning on majoring in Public Relations and taking up either Journalism or Marketing as my minor.

If we were playing word association games just by looking at these pictures, the two words that come to mind would be 1. gypsy 2. skank. That's completely okay. I take your comments in stride. The skirt was only seven dollars at goodwill. When presented with a price that contains only one value place, I'm sold. Apart from my goodwill hauls, my wallet's been taking quite a beating. I finally convinced my parents to take the perilous trek up to the mall, so I could do my last minute Christmas shopping. I believe that after today Mariah Carey's voice has been permanently embedded into my brain from having listened to "All I want for Christmas" for what seems to be the 100th time today... Other than that, the mall wasn't too unbearable.